Mid-Autumn Festival

Hubei Museum
This past weekend I went to the Hubei Museum for my Chinese Arts class. There were some interesting sights, though we didn't have enough time to fully explore everything that was there. The first thing we had a chance to see was a traditional performance which consisted mainly of a musical component of a number of different bells. There was also a dancing part of it which was interesting to see. The costumes were very interesting (I think I want to buy one so I can wear it down to Main Street when I come home).

The museum was full of lots of archeological pieces, many from the earliest of Chinese dynasties. Among them were wine jars, ladels, utensils, etc. Interesting for a while, but the monotany of so many of the same thing became a drag for a little bit. Once we got to see some of the tombs and the golden ornaments than there were some more beautiful sights. In particular I found the Golden Duck and Deer to be well crafted pieces. And than of course the weapons, the principle tools in melee combat. I took a lot of pictures of the swords, spears, and bows. Most of the "swords" seemed more like processional pieces, but than again the Chinese are very small.

I Don't Rap About Bitches and Hos, I Rap About Witches and Trolls
Friday I went out drinking and had a fairly decent time. It was a rap show, but it was Chinese rap so I could respect that a little more than domestic rap. My favorite is the intermitent "fuck you" amongst a bunch of Chinese words I can't comprehend. I was up front at the show for some of it, but eventually retreated to a balcony like area to sit and enjoy my weaksauce Chinese beer. The was a guy and a girl at the table next to me playing some dice games. I do enjoy dice games, so I started looking on and trying to figure out the game. Sooner or later they realized I was watching and invited me to play. We could hardly communicate, but somehow we were teaching each other various games - we even were able to gesture that if you lost you had to take an oblivion seeking gulp of whatever it was you were drinking. I also had the opportunity to play Chinese pool. Like everything Chinese, it was smaller. The balls were smaller, the table was smaller, and the corner pockets are rounded so you basically have to make a direct shot to hit a ball in.

The Host Family Meets Big Brother (家认识哥哥）

I met my Host Family on Sunday, which is Mid Autumn Festival. Didn't know I had a host family did you? Well, me either. They called me at about 10 in the morning asking if I would have lunch with them. So I did, throwing on some clothes and stumbling out the door. They were strange for a Chinese Family in the sense that there were two siblings. We got along very well, first bonding over a smoke of course. The oldest one says I need to hang out with him if I want to meet the ladies, but he defers to me of course because I am his Gege (older brother). We went to a really nice place for dinner. It was a private room that had couches, a tv, nice view from the third floor of the joint, and of course a well to do table. You get your own waitress who serves you personally. I had duck skin, fish, beef, mushroom soup, fried tofu, cabbage and eggplant, and probably tons of other dishes. One thing I picked up on was I felt like they were trying to hook me up with the niece, because they would often talk directly to her, say my name, look at me, and giggle profusely. Maybe that is the motivation for volunteering to cater to this kid from America.

In the evening it was time for the Mid-Autumn Festival. The story of the festival goes something like this: At one time the Earth had ten suns, which is just too many fucking suns. Everyone had to stay inside lest they get skin cancer. This dude Houyi had some fairly large balls and was pretty good with a bow, so he decides to snipe some of the suns down. He only shot down nine of the suns though because it was to remain the symbol for their heathen god and he was worried that shooting it down would mean that he would inherit the seat of heaven. Houyi was a simple man who liked hunting and Monday Night Football, being the Overlord of the Universe was no fate for him. He had a wife named Chang E who was pretty hot. Houyi had a pill that would make one live forever as a God and such. Houyi made Chang E take the pill so she could keep it secret and safe and out of the hands of the Nine Riders who were the shadowy remains of those asshole suns. One of the Nazgul riders was Houyi's apprentice Peng. Houyi never questioned why he always smelled of death and had leathery decaying skin. Friends care not about these things. Anyways, Peng wanted the pill so he went to Chang E's house to get it. Unfortunately for Peng, Chang E had mistaken the pill earliar for her Calcium Supplement and had floated into space to take up the seat of Heaven. Houyi later found that she was living on the moon and though she was always in the sky he could never truly be with her. In his grief and rage, he created a holiday dedicated to her and made everyone eat these wretched mooncakes which made all the people sick and killed Peng, his neighbor Frank who never mowed his side of the lawn, and the emporeor and every other asshole that crossed him. We now celebrate this holiday when the Moon is bright. We eat mooncake under the moon and make a wish. Mine is to not be offered anymore mooncake.

That's not exactly how the Chinese tell it, but I think culture is an evolving thing and maybe hundreds of years from now they will tell it like that.