Last weekend I went on a trip to the Three Gorges Dam. Upon completion it will be the largest dam in the world I guess. I don't get super pumped up about dams, but when its a 
matter of national pride people go nuts. If China wanted to build the world's largest monument of a yogurt cup people would be just as ecstatic. And they cling to their tourist traps. I saw a stand selling Mao's little Red Book, 100 kuai. Whew, I think I got one in Wuhan for 8.
The trip was organized for the English teachers at Zhong Nan Minzu Daxue, but me and Mandy got invited along too. It was an interesting crowd; myself, Mandy and three of the teachers were from America, one originally from Mexico, a guy from South Africa, an older Australian, and a Japanese teacher.
Our first stop was actually the dam on the first day. Like I said, its a dam and there wasn't too much to get excited about. We stayed there and took pictures for a while and eventually left while we still had our wallets. I could actually hear the frustration on the vendors who were disgusted with themselves for not being able to sell us their worthless junk that is easily purchased anywhere else for 1/10 of the price.
That night had been Halloween and so it was important to substitute what we lacked in any form of masquerade in extra alcohol. Most of us ventured off into Yichang, the town we
were staying in, for some form of American styled pub. Along the way we stopped at a street vendor who was dealing in death, she was stocked up to her eyeball skins in alcohol, cold beer, and cigarettes. We bought a few beers from her to make some headway on a buzz while we searched for a destination. A gang of local children stopped us in our tracks so as to practice their English. They assumed that the Australian man was my grandfather and addressed him as such for the remainder of our conversation. They were cute and out way past their bedtime, so we anticipated we might see them at a bar later on completely smashed. Unfortunately this did not happen. 
We eventually came upon a very Western looking joint which was run by Australians. Success! Immediately we got some pitchers from the tap and it was oh so wonderful. How the booze flowed...I remember shots being proposed and things got silly. For me, it was debating politics as usual with the Australians who were into that sort of thing. Eventually I got a job offer to teach at this guy's school. I took his card and told him I would think about it. We left and walked out into the middle of nowhere until the wee hours of the night when we
promptly realized we were no where near our hotel and decided to hail a cab. Whew.
The next day I felt great suprisingly. Some of the others were suffering hangovers, but they would wear off as soon as we ran underneath the waterfalls we were going to see. A nice scenic spot full of climbing and beautiful water cascades. Also, plenty of rock formations that Chinese people claim look like Buddah's face or something. There was only one which I agreed, the rest looked like they could have been his junk or a thumb or something, but definitely not his face.
We later were told to climb a dangerous path up to the top of a rubble pile which was said to be an old soldier's fortress maybe during the Qin Dynasty (don't remember). Anyways, it was raining and the rocks
beneath our feet were both slippery and loose. There were no guard rails as there is little concern for public safety. Once we got to the top though it was a great view and definitely worth risking life and limb to get there. Our tour guide, Mike, tried to explain the significance of the spot but I think he was interrupted by our Mexican friend who was constantly making threats on his life (in good fun, but as always trying to make Chinese people uncomfortable). He just really wanted to see Mike fall off the side of the rock shelf for whatever reason.
We also visited a cave. Now, when you think about going to a cave you get the feel that its going to be a real experience in seeing geological formations and that it will be preserved as it should have been in nature. Not in China! The whole place was filled with a hokey light show and crazy music. It was a carnival and kind of humorous because it would never fly anywhere else. It was hard to say how much of the cave was real and how much of it was artificial. Also, graffiti all over the fucking place. I couldn't believe it. There was a little boat ride in the center of the cave that we took, again I felt like at any point our Mexican friend was going to throw Mike over the side of the boat and make him beg for a life preserver. Again, nothing of the sort manifested, but what stories we could have had!
Night time again and no one wants to drink. I am disgusted, being from Wisconsin its second nature to go out and have slam some cold ones to cure the previous night's hangove
r and in general relax. With my other Wisconsinites failing me in this pursuit I turned to the one man who could potentially match my alcoholism...the Australian. I asked him his plans for the evening and he gave me a curious look; "Well, its Saturday night. I'm going to hit the sauce." I told him I'd meet him down in the lobby in an hour. We went back to hang out with the Australians. This time, however, there was more of a nightlife at the bar. Plenty of Chinese people inhabited the bar as well so I decided to try my best to mingle. Lots of beer and dancing commenced. Mission success.
The next day was our final stop of the trip: A Tujia Village. Lots of knick knacks to buy and little parts of the culture to see. There were some different contraptions that were like water wheels I believe for irrigation. I stopped at a blacksmith shop and tried to put my World of Warcraft skills to work and make a little something. All in all, we were all just too tired and felt it was time to get home.
Well, that's all for now. Join me next time as I venture to Xi'an to battle against the terra cotta army, barter along the silk road, steal an ancient Ming Dynasty artifact from an evil madman who plans to hand it over to radical Jihadists to destroy America.
matter of national pride people go nuts. If China wanted to build the world's largest monument of a yogurt cup people would be just as ecstatic. And they cling to their tourist traps. I saw a stand selling Mao's little Red Book, 100 kuai. Whew, I think I got one in Wuhan for 8.The trip was organized for the English teachers at Zhong Nan Minzu Daxue, but me and Mandy got invited along too. It was an interesting crowd; myself, Mandy and three of the teachers were from America, one originally from Mexico, a guy from South Africa, an older Australian, and a Japanese teacher.
Our first stop was actually the dam on the first day. Like I said, its a dam and there wasn't too much to get excited about. We stayed there and took pictures for a while and eventually left while we still had our wallets. I could actually hear the frustration on the vendors who were disgusted with themselves for not being able to sell us their worthless junk that is easily purchased anywhere else for 1/10 of the price.
That night had been Halloween and so it was important to substitute what we lacked in any form of masquerade in extra alcohol. Most of us ventured off into Yichang, the town we
were staying in, for some form of American styled pub. Along the way we stopped at a street vendor who was dealing in death, she was stocked up to her eyeball skins in alcohol, cold beer, and cigarettes. We bought a few beers from her to make some headway on a buzz while we searched for a destination. A gang of local children stopped us in our tracks so as to practice their English. They assumed that the Australian man was my grandfather and addressed him as such for the remainder of our conversation. They were cute and out way past their bedtime, so we anticipated we might see them at a bar later on completely smashed. Unfortunately this did not happen. 
We eventually came upon a very Western looking joint which was run by Australians. Success! Immediately we got some pitchers from the tap and it was oh so wonderful. How the booze flowed...I remember shots being proposed and things got silly. For me, it was debating politics as usual with the Australians who were into that sort of thing. Eventually I got a job offer to teach at this guy's school. I took his card and told him I would think about it. We left and walked out into the middle of nowhere until the wee hours of the night when we
promptly realized we were no where near our hotel and decided to hail a cab. Whew.The next day I felt great suprisingly. Some of the others were suffering hangovers, but they would wear off as soon as we ran underneath the waterfalls we were going to see. A nice scenic spot full of climbing and beautiful water cascades. Also, plenty of rock formations that Chinese people claim look like Buddah's face or something. There was only one which I agreed, the rest looked like they could have been his junk or a thumb or something, but definitely not his face.
We later were told to climb a dangerous path up to the top of a rubble pile which was said to be an old soldier's fortress maybe during the Qin Dynasty (don't remember). Anyways, it was raining and the rocks
beneath our feet were both slippery and loose. There were no guard rails as there is little concern for public safety. Once we got to the top though it was a great view and definitely worth risking life and limb to get there. Our tour guide, Mike, tried to explain the significance of the spot but I think he was interrupted by our Mexican friend who was constantly making threats on his life (in good fun, but as always trying to make Chinese people uncomfortable). He just really wanted to see Mike fall off the side of the rock shelf for whatever reason.
We also visited a cave. Now, when you think about going to a cave you get the feel that its going to be a real experience in seeing geological formations and that it will be preserved as it should have been in nature. Not in China! The whole place was filled with a hokey light show and crazy music. It was a carnival and kind of humorous because it would never fly anywhere else. It was hard to say how much of the cave was real and how much of it was artificial. Also, graffiti all over the fucking place. I couldn't believe it. There was a little boat ride in the center of the cave that we took, again I felt like at any point our Mexican friend was going to throw Mike over the side of the boat and make him beg for a life preserver. Again, nothing of the sort manifested, but what stories we could have had!Night time again and no one wants to drink. I am disgusted, being from Wisconsin its second nature to go out and have slam some cold ones to cure the previous night's hangove
r and in general relax. With my other Wisconsinites failing me in this pursuit I turned to the one man who could potentially match my alcoholism...the Australian. I asked him his plans for the evening and he gave me a curious look; "Well, its Saturday night. I'm going to hit the sauce." I told him I'd meet him down in the lobby in an hour. We went back to hang out with the Australians. This time, however, there was more of a nightlife at the bar. Plenty of Chinese people inhabited the bar as well so I decided to try my best to mingle. Lots of beer and dancing commenced. Mission success.
The next day was our final stop of the trip: A Tujia Village. Lots of knick knacks to buy and little parts of the culture to see. There were some different contraptions that were like water wheels I believe for irrigation. I stopped at a blacksmith shop and tried to put my World of Warcraft skills to work and make a little something. All in all, we were all just too tired and felt it was time to get home.
Well, that's all for now. Join me next time as I venture to Xi'an to battle against the terra cotta army, barter along the silk road, steal an ancient Ming Dynasty artifact from an evil madman who plans to hand it over to radical Jihadists to destroy America.
And now I'll leave you with the wisdom of China's National Treasures...English Version!
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2 comments:
lol.
Is that guy wearing a suit... in the blacksmith shop?
Haha, that was my tour guide. Mike...crazy little dude.
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